Thursday, February 11, 2016

I Hate Your Inner Child

"it is never too late to have a happy childhood"
Bad news, motherfucker. If you have a rent to pay, job, college education, legal age for drinking and driving, some wrinkles and a hairy crotch, IT IS TOO LATE.

Do you know what the inner child is? You must have heard of it, maybe you read about it in some stupid magazine telling you how you must recover your innocence, or watched a tv show full of twisted pseudo-psychology some dude wearing all white, speaking softly about your inner child and how you have to get in touch with it, blahblah blah.

If you still have no clue. Stuff like this or this, this and even this might inform you.

One of the few things you'll notice, this is in part about having fun. - Since when exactly is humor and having fun activities restricted to children? I love watching comedy, and anyone who knows me, acknowledges the fact that I'm joking 50% of time. But oh wait, I like witty comedy, dark humor, cruel jokes... That's too much of the horrible, terrible adult world.

Kids laugh at everything, but can't create elaborated jokes, basically their brains haven't developed enough to have such skills; they're not inherently happier, they're just not capable of deeper thoughts and using reason like a fully developed adult. But of course this, like many other actual fads, focus on the sublimation of emotions, not reason.

The next things you'll notice about this vapid trend, are the uses of the inner child innocence to heal your traumas and to deal with the stress of the adult world.

I don't even know where to start. These persons don't remember what is like to be a kid. They have an idealized view of childhood.

Few days ago, I remembered some experience I had as a kid. I was in the beach with my parents, just playing in the sea. When I saw this little translucent balloon floating around me. Naturally it piqued my curiosity, and I tried to grab it. Next thing I knew, I was crying my lungs out and feeling this intense pain in my hand, which was getting swollen fast. I'd had a close encounter with a jellyfish.

My father disappeared looking for help. And my mother just remained there, having a panic attack. Then some random stranger approached, and told us I should pee on the stung, because urine supposedly counters the reaction to the venom. - The world as I knew it was destroyed and I was doomed. I just wanted to play with the cute thingy, and now the people responsible for me weren't there, and I had to pee on my own hand, because a stranger said so.

Anatomy of the apocalypse

This experience resumes really well, what is like to be a child. You're constantly pulled around by people. You have no ability to control most things around you, and you have to rely completely on others. You're not innocent, you're ignorant because you lack of life experience. You are yet not apt to assume responsibility.

After few days of getting injections, I was alright. And I had learned valuable things like: 1. I shouldn't touch alive weird things, no matter how cute they are. 2. Jellyfishes and random strangers are assholes.

And that is what life is about. You go through good and bad experiences. You don't have to heal your past, you have to learn from it. You grow and become wiser. You don't regress to avoid the stress of having responsibilities.

This issue is bigger than you might think, because it's not just some new age fad. Infantilism is a clear tendency, present in our societies as a form of learned helplessness, where we feel ineffectual to change and improve ourselves and have to rely on crutches like "tolerance", to disguise our flaws as virtues. Where we don't face our troubles, but recur to mommy authority and daddy government to take care of our problems, and give us support. Where we're motivated to express our emotions, and avoid thinking "too much". Where we're given empty dumb entertainment and taught "good values", because we don't know better.

Do you know what adults who behave like kids are called in reality?
Retards. There's nothing fancy or cool to be proud of on that. Other adults don't have to accept their immature "real selves", we'll judge them accordingly, and they're the only ones to blame.

And you know what other group of people is very judgmental and cruel in their observations? Children. They function in a very basic level, where they don't understand the social customs, and they've not been fed all that bullshit yet. They're guided by instinct in most interactions and they naturally reject, everything they perceive as abnormalities in behavior and appearance.

One of the most disturbing things I've seen, was a special in NatGeo about this man. Stanley Thornton is 30-years-old - He gets bottle fed, wears diapers, the whole package. You can read more about it, and satisfy your morbid curiosity here.

Anatomy of your inner child

They claim it's not Paraphilic infantilism (yeah, sure), but whatever the fuck it is, it's just plain wrong. And the best part, both of them claim disability and receive a pension.
Not surprising. Eh?

So do yourself a favor, if you're already 20, 30, 40 something, cut the crap, and get in touch with your outer fucking adult.


For anyone wondering. No, I didn't pee on my hand, I threw a tantrum opposing that option.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Help Rich People to save and Make More Money

... without receiving a cent! Yay!

That's right you guys, this is the cool thing a bunch of corps and "designers" are doing, and they call it Crowdsourcing.

If you aren't that familiar with the term, there are two main uses for  Crowdsourcing.

The first, joining efforts to create and develop a project, sharing the tasks and responsibilities, for the benefit of a community/group/cause; this generally involves non profit goals.

The second, a greedy motherfucker (or company) announces "a contest", where the compensation to the winner is just... well... "winning". 

Of course they embellish the deal stating: "this will give exposure to the winner", as if when people saw a product they went "jeez, I wonder who made this majestic design". More so, if other companies know they can get these persons working for free, why would they try to seek for them and hire them?

The common argument people use to defend this practice goes along the lines of: "This doesn't affect other people and no one is forcing anyone to participate!" 

It does affect the business for all designers, since every time this happens one or few designer's positions get filled by one thousand naive shitty amateurs. And the more people agree to  be part of this, the more it'll become a prevalent practice (it's already quite common, I've been seeing one of these at least once or twice a month), causing an economical void and putting professionals in a position of disadvantage.

This is not how businesses work, this is not survival of the fittest, this is like a multitude of blind dim-witted antelopes stomped over a lion, until the latter died crushed, while a greedy hyena feasts on all of them.

 Crowdsourcing in a nutshell

And of course the participants aren't forced, this is why I reserve the right to call them naive shitty amateurs and blind dim-witted antelopes, because they deserve it by letting themselves get exploited by companies that could well afford quality service, but don't value the time or effort of professionals in the graphic arts field.

Another argument: "but I do this because I like it, it's just fun!"

Maybe I'm close-minded, but I can't see the possible amusement in doing a product for a brand. I find joy in the realization of my personal projects, not in making a logo for someone else. I find gratification in delivering a good work and service, and getting paid for it - money, mind you - and that's the big difference. 

And this is perhaps the biggest misunderstanding people have respecting artists and designers by profession. That we do this out of pure passion and love for arts. 

Heheheh, no.

We choose this field because we like it, but we don't take works because it's fulfilling to some higher degree, we do it, because otherwise we would become homeless and die of starvation, just like professionals in all other areas. There's nothing special or mystical about successful "creative people" (a silly name people give us, and I don't use unless I'm making fun of them), there's only discipline and work. 

Another point is this means money for the contest hosts - or should I call them parasites? tehee. Every logo, cover, poster, etc, for a brand is bound to generate profit via sales, the hosts aren't promoting the contests for "fun!", they're doing so because that way they can have plenty of designs to choose from and not pay a dime, and all translates in profit for them. Not to mention the fact that more often than not, they keep the loser designs and can do what they want with those.

Of course, I'm not saying all contests are terrible, some contests got actual prizes in cash, and legal rules that ensure the participants rights over their pieces; but this is not common, it's the exception.

Yet another interesting part of the debate, without clear rules both parties risk winding up in legal vacuums, where lawsuits could be in order. Such is the case of this thing I stumbled upon today. 

Who will own your design ? The minute you post it, the Mavs will.  If you think its horrible that the Mavs own your design. Do not post. If you think its cool that the Mavs could possibly use your design and you will have eternal bragging rights , then post away.

That totally sounds like serious rules redacted by a lawyer!

But nope, that was Marc Cuban, owner of the National Basketball Association's Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theatres, and Magnolia Pictures, and the chairman of the HDTV cable network AXS TV.  Whose fortune is around US$2.3 billion. I'm not making this shit up.

All in all, this being the internet, I found some potential fun in the Mavericks "contest". Behold my favorite entries, I even made one myself. If you can guess which one is it, you will win exposure and my attention! and have eternal bragging rights!

You can also make your own, all you need is Paint, a mouse and have fun!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

3D Printing is awesome

Around 6 years ago I heard the term 3D printing for the first time. The context was art-related, since people were using it to create small decorative figures from their 3D models. While that was pretty impressive for the 3D art industry, the cost of the printers was so expensive, and I wasn't really into 3D, so I just pretty much forgot about the subject.

Fast-forward 2013, I stumbled upon this article Architects are starting to 3D print houses—but without a house-sized printer.  The implications of this are so staggering. For one, we shouldn't be surprised that 3D printing becomes the preferred method for construction in the future, rendering many professions obsolete; but also, I supposed the printers might have become more accessible for the general public, and possibly more advanced. - And I wasn't wrong, a quick glance on Amazon and you'll find these printers from $1200 to $3000.

But how does it work exactly? It's simpler than you would believe. First, you model your object (full or by parts), take this to the CAD software which will create the guides for the printer. Send it to the printer,  and set the material which will be used to create the object, commonly plastic, and the printer will do its magic.

So I've been giving it a good thought to this, imagine the possibilities for someone like me who's a sucker for DIY projects, for affordable personalized products that are hard to find or don't exist yet. I wouldn't have to buy MOST THINGS EVER AGAIN. I could make from my own sculptures to my own personal accessories, from mugs for coffee to pieces of furniture. Want a new chair? why not a throne made of human-like skulls? - Need a new astray? worry not, print your own shaped like a vagina! 

Here are few ideas just off the top of my head:

Maybe the "something" would be better if it was alive (or that's how I imagined it), and the printer can't do that sadly, but when I say you can do many things, beyond simple sculptures and napkin holders, I'm not kidding

Check out Thingiverse, Sculpteo, Shapeways, and you'll find many designs, if you can't be assed to make your own. Replacement parts and full functional gadgets are some of projects you can find there, along with hundreds of art/decorative projects. 

Some people have taken this even further - originating a whole new debate I'm not willing to touch with ten foot pole, at least not today.

 Yeah, science, bitch!

3D printing is great and it's here to stay. I wouldn't say it'll beat the internet, or it'll destroy consumerism, but it might definitively have a positive impact in the way we acquire products within the next decades. And I'm totally getting one as soon as I can afford it and make own skulls throne.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Small Things

Greetings citizens!

Looks like lately I've little time, there's always something around that needs to be done, or some place to go to. I've been too busy to write more posts and finish the ones I had started at some point. So today I'm gonna address several topics, because honestly each of these aren't worth of an entire post.

Trivia: Did you know I hate cops?

My hatred toward cops stem from personal interactions, when the officer is out of duty and harasses citizens for no reason other than he's become an egomaniac douchebag, who's also armed. I bet there are some cops out there who aren't like that, I bet some are cool guys, blah blah blah, I've yet to meet one who isn't a massive asshole, though. The ones I've met, exhibit a behavior very akin to those mobsters who they're supposed to be putting behind bars.

Why am I talking about this? I have this neighbor, let's call him Coward Dickheadson, he's a cop. Few months ago he asked to change his assigned parking with mine. I don't own a car, but my relatives use it to park constantly, when they come to visit. The answer was no. First, he talked to the manager. Then he tried to intimidate my mother (who doesn't even live here) one day when she was parking. Talked to the manager again, eventually gave up, not without breaking the parking post lock first.

Few days ago, Mr. Dickheadson apparently lost his keys, and what did he do? He broke the main entrance lock of the building. That's his special skill, he breaks shit. When told he had to pay for that, he told everybody to fuck off. He also likes telling everybody he's a cop, as if that fact granted him special immunity.

This is just one case, I've seen shit like this happen in many situations. And the funny thing is when I've actually needed the protection of the police, I had none. This is maybe thanks to the fact I live in a corrupt country, where you can pay the police to let you go, even if you're caught and identified by the victims. But sad truth is I feel safer when I see a "gangsta", at least that motherfucker's intentions are clear and obvious; with cops, you never know.

In my opinion the only solution is technology. I want androids that can't be blackmailed, aren't subject to egomaniac tendencies and don't have to be my neighbors.


Profiling vs Racism

Speaking of justice and stuff. You've probably read about the Trayvon Martin case, that black guy who got shot to death in Florida, when apparently he wasn't looking for trouble (the skittles and iced tea guy). The media has gotten mad about it, many things had been said about the person who killed him, George Zimmerman, first they wanted to identify him as a white man, committing a hate crime. When it's now known he's not even white, he didn't utter racial slurs when talking to the 911 operator. He didn't even go to prison for a reason, he had wounds, he was probably just defending himself when he shot that nigga down.

But I don't want to address the case specifically. I want to talk about something related to it: profiling. You see, when you live a city with a high rate of crimes, like I do, you learn to profile people. It's not an organized conscious method, it's almost instinctive. Sometimes you spot some dudes and you know in your gut, they're up to something. You take your chances, either go in a different direction or act like nothing is happening. 

 "I think I'll run scared shitless in the opposite direction. Yup"

There's just something about the way they walk, how they're dressed, how they look around, how they scan people. You can even determinate what type of crime they'd likely commit, just by observing these cues.

When you do see the signs, you're not looking for the race of the person. You don't go like "look, a brown person, must be a criminal", this pattern of thought is only held when you're exposed to something completely alien to you, i.e. you've never seen a person of that race or ethnicity in real life. 

Does the race of a person come to play a role in crimes? Sure, some races are prone to certain crimes, just check the crime statistics, unless you're a blind hippie shithead you can't deny that fact. Nonetheless, when you're profiling in the street to avoid dangerous situations, you look for the other signs. 

I have no idea if Zimmerman was just looking for a reason to shoot someone, I have no idea if he had experience in profiling people, BUT if he did, and he was just trying to protect his neighborhood, the odds are Martin had a suspicious attitude, to begin with. Alas, "innocent victims" sell better to the public, especially if they belong to a "minority".


The Corn Tumor

Just look what I found in my cereal.

This aberration is around 10 cms (4 inches) long, it's hard like a rock, as in if my life was in danger right now, I could use it as a weapon. This seems silly, but it really puzzled me. I don't know what to do with it. Should I try eating it? Should I try checking if it has a pulse and is alive? 

I'm thinking about giving it a name. Conrad, the Corn Tumor!

Seriously Kellogg's, what the fuck? My box didn't say it contained a prize, much less a deformed corn thing... y.

On the plus side, it fed my creativity
Behold my newest master piece!


Films, Easter and Bad Parenting

I feel fairly touched by the coming easter celebration, believe it or not, I'm a sensible person, so to share the feeling with my fellow christians, I watched The Boondock Saints and some stuff about the dead resurrecting, AKA zombie flicks. Not bad for an atheist, eh? Eh?

I also watched The Hunger Games, at some point last week. The story is boring as hell, it "borrows" (as when a thief borrows your belongings) elements from Battle Royale, The Long Walk and 1984, without the mind-blowing factor or the philosophically engaging factor. On the top of that, no gore, little violence. Something which premise is people killing each other on tv, cannot get less violent than this. I'm not planning on reading the books either. 

Immediately after watching it, I found this article.

I don't have enough hands to facepalm as this deserves. I'm aware over-protecting parents isn't a new thing, but I'm seeing more and more bullshit on the media about violence and "think of the children" mentality.

This might be a new riveting concept for some, but violence is not fiction, it's not something that only exists on books and movies. Bad things happen to everybody, all the time, everywhere, and fiction has nothing to do with it. A douche with an authority high might break your locks, some dude might shoot you in a strange neighborhood, and you might find a corn tumor in your breakfast. Deal with it and teach your kids to deal with it, too.

Over-protection is detrimental for the mental health of children. People want to preserve their so-called innocence, what they're truly achieving is creating a bunch of dumbfounded passive sheltered idiots, who won't be able to handle any situation where they're not treated like special snowflakes, or a situation that is by nature, stressful.

No wonder why the anti-bullying trend is so hyped lately, and why there has been so many "bullied kids" reports. The society is creating the fucking victims, while fomenting the figurative castration of more assertive individuals. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Destroying the World for Dummies

So I recently watched The Grey, it was good overall. It's a film about survival, faith (or lack thereof) and wolves. Forget about hippie feel-good films like Dances with Wolves, with tolerance bullshit propaganda. Or pro-furry gullible messages like "nature iz ur frand". This film is crude and direct, like survival in real life. It shows us how you cannot sugarcoat reality, especially when a wolf is gnawing on your pal's entrails, few meters away from you.
Yiff this, motherfucker. I dare you

I won't spoil the film, but it has all the ways things can go wrong for people in the wilderness. How fragile is human life out in the elements, away from civilization, how we would get pwned by nature, if we were suddenly exposed to it. After finishing the movie, I suddenly felt thankful for all the things I have. Think about it, we have: electricity, running water, access to medical attention, devices to communicate, even the fucking public transport, I so much despise; all of this makes of our existence not a constant fight to survive.

If you don't asphyxiate, that is

And the thing is we've grown so comfy in our little homes, we don't usually stop to think how would it really be if it was all gone. It reminds me of certain debate I've had the chance to encounter several times on the internet. The quasi-anarchic "waiting for the end of world as we know it", "wishing for the collapse of society", the fallout fantasy and that crap.

I recognize where such desire stems from, you're frustrated with how society works, you're tired of your medium-low pay time-consuming mind-numbing occupation, the world is full of dumbfucks (this probably includes you and you don't even admit it). That's understandable, you want everything to turn upside down, destruction, the fireworks and then survival of fittest for everybody.

Yeah, sure, as if only you were going to survive for long.

The odds are you can't even stand living without fucking electricity. - I for one CAN'T do it for long without feeling murderous rage. - You're probably flabby or fat and the hardest activity you've ever done is mowing your lawn, not without extensively complaining about it. And the only self-defense method you know, is pressing ctrl or alt and clicking your mouse. But life in such post-apocalyptic scenario wouldn't be as easy as in a VG, you cannot save and reload.

But let's say you have some training and wits, you're almost like Ted Kaczynski and you can manage yourself without society. Or maybe you've watched enough the Bear Grylls program and you know better when to drink your own piss or not. It's not so far fetched my dear Rambo to assume, you might still fail because without order, and a defined hierarchy, life would be too hard to live on your own.

In a forum I frequent sometimes, totally for smart people, someone gave a solution to the overpopulation problem and the dumbfuck problem. "Let's just kill all the low IQ average Joes. And let's keep the smart people, the scientists, the great thinkers and artists". The final solution for losers doesn't sound as such terrible idea, until you realize the implications. For instance: who's gonna work in the fields and ship your food? Who's gonna work in the market, in the fast food restaurants? Who's gonna clean for all those great minds who are busy making breakthrough innovations?

Whether we want it or not, we need the burger flippers, these obnoxious basic human beings who find Lady Gaga philosophically deep. We need people to function in a level we're used to and we can realistically face, without being in constant danger and going back to a primitive lifestyle. What we don't need is so many of them (population control anyone?). - Even Ted Kaczynski had to go to town once in a while, to buy canned food.

This doesn't mean I don't understand the problems, on the contrary, but these aren't the solutions.

Tired of a decadent culturally empty society? Let's start by promoting "the right" ideas/opinions. Don't support stupid entertainment.

Law enforcement is a tool, don't shield behind "fuck the authority" to not get involved and keep complaining about the very system which has guaranteed your survival this far. If you want a change, learn your goddamn politics first and get involved.

Don't like your job? quit, do something else, adapt to other lifestyle if you have to.

But I suppose all of it sounds boring, it requires you to assume responsibility over your life and actions; not like in Mad Max or Fallout, the realm of fantasy where everything is thrilling and causality doesn't function like in reality. In the end of the day, you can shut down the computer, turn off the TV, go to your comfy bed and dream about the zombie apocalypse. Be glad at least you have that.