Thursday, February 11, 2016

I Hate Your Inner Child

"it is never too late to have a happy childhood"
Bad news, motherfucker. If you have a rent to pay, job, college education, legal age for drinking and driving, some wrinkles and a hairy crotch, IT IS TOO LATE.

Do you know what the inner child is? You must have heard of it, maybe you read about it in some stupid magazine telling you how you must recover your innocence, or watched a tv show full of twisted pseudo-psychology some dude wearing all white, speaking softly about your inner child and how you have to get in touch with it, blahblah blah.

If you still have no clue. Stuff like this or this, this and even this might inform you.

One of the few things you'll notice, this is in part about having fun. - Since when exactly is humor and having fun activities restricted to children? I love watching comedy, and anyone who knows me, acknowledges the fact that I'm joking 50% of time. But oh wait, I like witty comedy, dark humor, cruel jokes... That's too much of the horrible, terrible adult world.

Kids laugh at everything, but can't create elaborated jokes, basically their brains haven't developed enough to have such skills; they're not inherently happier, they're just not capable of deeper thoughts and using reason like a fully developed adult. But of course this, like many other actual fads, focus on the sublimation of emotions, not reason.

The next things you'll notice about this vapid trend, are the uses of the inner child innocence to heal your traumas and to deal with the stress of the adult world.

I don't even know where to start. These persons don't remember what is like to be a kid. They have an idealized view of childhood.

Few days ago, I remembered some experience I had as a kid. I was in the beach with my parents, just playing in the sea. When I saw this little translucent balloon floating around me. Naturally it piqued my curiosity, and I tried to grab it. Next thing I knew, I was crying my lungs out and feeling this intense pain in my hand, which was getting swollen fast. I'd had a close encounter with a jellyfish.

My father disappeared looking for help. And my mother just remained there, having a panic attack. Then some random stranger approached, and told us I should pee on the stung, because urine supposedly counters the reaction to the venom. - The world as I knew it was destroyed and I was doomed. I just wanted to play with the cute thingy, and now the people responsible for me weren't there, and I had to pee on my own hand, because a stranger said so.

Anatomy of the apocalypse

This experience resumes really well, what is like to be a child. You're constantly pulled around by people. You have no ability to control most things around you, and you have to rely completely on others. You're not innocent, you're ignorant because you lack of life experience. You are yet not apt to assume responsibility.

After few days of getting injections, I was alright. And I had learned valuable things like: 1. I shouldn't touch alive weird things, no matter how cute they are. 2. Jellyfishes and random strangers are assholes.

And that is what life is about. You go through good and bad experiences. You don't have to heal your past, you have to learn from it. You grow and become wiser. You don't regress to avoid the stress of having responsibilities.

This issue is bigger than you might think, because it's not just some new age fad. Infantilism is a clear tendency, present in our societies as a form of learned helplessness, where we feel ineffectual to change and improve ourselves and have to rely on crutches like "tolerance", to disguise our flaws as virtues. Where we don't face our troubles, but recur to mommy authority and daddy government to take care of our problems, and give us support. Where we're motivated to express our emotions, and avoid thinking "too much". Where we're given empty dumb entertainment and taught "good values", because we don't know better.

Do you know what adults who behave like kids are called in reality?
Retards. There's nothing fancy or cool to be proud of on that. Other adults don't have to accept their immature "real selves", we'll judge them accordingly, and they're the only ones to blame.

And you know what other group of people is very judgmental and cruel in their observations? Children. They function in a very basic level, where they don't understand the social customs, and they've not been fed all that bullshit yet. They're guided by instinct in most interactions and they naturally reject, everything they perceive as abnormalities in behavior and appearance.

One of the most disturbing things I've seen, was a special in NatGeo about this man. Stanley Thornton is 30-years-old - He gets bottle fed, wears diapers, the whole package. You can read more about it, and satisfy your morbid curiosity here.

Anatomy of your inner child

They claim it's not Paraphilic infantilism (yeah, sure), but whatever the fuck it is, it's just plain wrong. And the best part, both of them claim disability and receive a pension.
Not surprising. Eh?

So do yourself a favor, if you're already 20, 30, 40 something, cut the crap, and get in touch with your outer fucking adult.


For anyone wondering. No, I didn't pee on my hand, I threw a tantrum opposing that option.


  1. Problem is people don't make the distinction between memory as a child and acting like one.

    Case in point, the Princess or the Manchild.

    For me? I can say some of us envy the time where we didn't have the burdens of the world but at the same time we couldn't drive or drink or whatever else. For me, there was shit I loved as a kid that I still do, like breaking the thin sheets of ice puddles left in the winter or fucking sledding. I love sledding. But I also acknowledge that you can enjoy what you liked as a kid but you don't act like a God damned kid.

    And those two people need serious shock therapy. We're making excuses for these people where a century ago they'd be ridiculed forever.

  2. I absolutely love this fucking entry.

    My inner child is a tired middle-aged guy. Go figure.

  3. Colin, I had a cool childhood, with the usual problems, but in general good, yet, I don't miss that time at all, because of the inherent limitations we had as kids...

    And yeah, that's the point, we can enjoy many things, independently of the age.

    Kombat, glad to know. D'aww, deep inside, you're a grandpa, I knew it! I just hope you don't go through a mid-life crisis yet.

    1. My childhood was...well let's say social awkwardness was used often. It's why I said some of us could sometimes envy it, but I wouldn't go so far as to say I wanted it back.

      It's like loving popsicles or watching Futurama. Some people could say that they're for kids and teenagers, but do either one involve dressing up in jammies? No.

      From here on in KU will be known as Dyedushka-device.

    2. Yeah, I know what you mean. I enjoy playing video games, once in a while. I'm not fan of animated films, but I liked some cartoons.

      Hehehe Dyedushka-device.