Wednesday, December 28, 2011

On Dating

I'm an attractive woman in her mid-20s (sue me for not thinking otherwise, and not whining about my looks), and this question just becomes more prevalent, in every conversation: why the hell aren't you dating?

"You're pretty, smart, funny, talented and SINGLE? How come?" - Hey! their words, not mine!

Short answer: I don't feel like it.

Long answer: I'm tired of that bullshit, I don't need it in my life at the moment. I mean, the very primitive part of my brain, might need aspects of it; but I'm not willing to go through all the hell required to be in a relationship.

To begin with the fact, I like a man every 4 or 6 years or something, it's like presidential elections. "And the winner with the majority of votes is..." and then there are riots and protests in the streets, and it's a big deal and shit.

As I've told to other people before, the ritual aspect of it is just plain stupid. I would go out with a man, he would give me dead plants, then he would feed me, try to intoxicate my judgment with fancy drinks, and hope the situation ends up with him sticking his dick into any of my bodily orifices.

Not a nice scenario, when it's put this way, eh? If that's romance, I don't want anything to do with it.

I would rather a more natural development of the events. Like I've known someone for a while, dig his personality, have a good communication with, and one day "hey let's fuck", "ok!". And no further complications, no rules, it's not a fucking RPG.

Of course I had to go through a "serious relationship" to reach this state, I had to go through the receiving dead plants, through the rules, through the always first awkward "I love you". Blind dating, dating several guys at the same time, and so on...

I've not given up completely on this particular subject. Who knows, maybe one day I might even marry (eww), people do crazy things when they're getting old and desperate.

I would probably go for someone, like this guy. Several reasons: 1. The man obviously loves his profession, meaning I'd NOT be the center of his life. That's awesome, I don't need someone who will absorb every aspect of my existence, like some life-draining-vampire, who wants to be my siamese sibling. 2. I know nothing about cloning, I've always dated people who are either: musicians, writers, painters, etc; most of my acquaintances are artists. It would be nice for a change. I could even draw him cloning a human being and making wicked experiments. 3. I have a weakness for blond dudes with that expression that says: "I'm batshit crazy and possibly dangerous for society", it's just charming.

My future ex-husband

Tentative projection of the future

For now, I rather not looking for it. It would be nice, if people just stopped giving a fuck about my sexual and non-romantic life. As if marrying and breeding were the biggest accomplishment in one's life. But I guess that's topic for another entry!


  1. I was rather surprised none of my family asked if I was dating anybody this year. And that dude kinda does look like someone I could see you with :p All he needs is a closeted love for death metal and you guys would be perfect heh.

  2. Liked the part about presidential elections. And the liking of blond dudes. It means that sometimes in the future we could fuck. Or not. Cuz, see, you think you have it hard because you think you're forced through the ritual so the guy sticks his no-no into your vay-jay, and give you some bodily pleasure and the affirmation that you're a part of the "normal people", but in my case, it's even worse.

    I have to give dead plants, I have to spew jibberish that would make me seem charming, wear clothes that supposed to make me look more rich and imposing than I really am, and even if I get to stick my dick into that sweet vagina after all the tribulations... it's not that I want.

    I can fuck a chick and think how much better it would be if I would be bashing her in the temple with a screwdriver when I'm fucking her, and the thought just spoils everything, because well, I can't have it.

    Then why should I do it? No reason at all than to prove that I'm a capable male. And it's not that edgy-goreloving fantasy or whatever, it's a legitimate desire and goal, something like that. But not really accomplishable. And so no to disappoint myself, and waste time on un-needed shit, why date?

  3. Stryke, thanks man. More silly doodles coming soon. lol

    Celynne, who knows, he's wearing a black t-shirt, maybe it's a band t-shirt! (I'm not into death metal, it's black metal! kvlt and shit)

    kombat-unit, the point is you DO NOT need the ritual thingy. As for the other stuff, we already talked about it, but my new advice: start cloning people, fuck them, kill them, rinse and repeat. Yey?

  4. In my defense,I never gave you some dead plant with a fake animal. And that was some nice tea!

    In all seriousness, though, I've been in the fortunate position of never having to say "Oh, who am I going to date now, nobody out there is interested, I turned into foreveralone" and being kind of experienced on the dating field, I have to say the girls who really stand out are those you can walk around with and drink beer sitting on the sidewalk; no romance phone calls, no "come meet my parents", no "I love you and you are my soulmate forever and ever, I bought you this... heart-shaped chocolates".

    Besides, when a guy asks a girl "hey, do you want to, like, go to the movies?" she knows this guy's unto something. So much for the excitement of wondering what's going on.

    And I like this rocket science guy for you. He makes this smile that makes you worry. I respect that in a man!

  5. hahahah

    You know, the funny thing is I've met few guys who do that, the forced romance and clingy behavior. You just want to go like "grow some balls, FAGGOT!"

    Romance died long ago. It's rotten already, and stinks to the point you want to puke.

    IKR? I respect that too. He looks like a "dangerous geek", what happens when you mix a viking and a mad scientist, mykindaguy.jpg